Accepting ourselves just the way we are - warts and all - is more difficult than we'd like it to be. Either we feel we are not enough, or that there is something "bad" or “wrong” about us. But unless we are able to accept ourselves, we will find ourselves in disharmony with our surroundings; it is only when we are balanced inside, and able to flow with life, that we are able to express our best selves and reach our highest potential. To help you with that process, here are 3 tools:
1) "HOW DO I RESPOND?"
By being caught up in whether a situation is "good" or "bad," we are unable to see what is "best." We get stuck in what happened in the past, which we label as “good” or “bad.” When instead we ask ourselves: "How should I respond?", we free ourselves from judgment, and this allows us to respond in a way that is best, both for ourselves and for the situation. Instead of asking ourselves why we spilled the coffee, better to just wipe up the mess and forget about it. This objective, non-judgmental approach allows us to move on, and for better things to take place. Above all, you discover your own strength, as you don't let yourself become a victim to the situation.
2) AVOIDING COMPARISONS.
One could almost say it is human nature to compare. But need we do so? One gets nothing out of it. Plus, a necessary aspect of comparing is putting labels on things, people and situations (collectively, "TPS"); these labels are concepts we have created and inherited, and all they do is create separation where none exists. In truth, we are not even looking at the truth of things. In reality, we are perceiving TPS not as they are, but through our filters.
We all know that when we truly connect with another human being, all the labels simply drop away, and differences cease to matter; what remains is simply the joy of the moment. True worth, therefore, is internal. The more we look for acceptance from external sources - and measure ourselves against others - the less we end up accepting ourselves, which only means denying our true selves.
How often do we fail to see the solution simply because of how we have chosen to define the problem? For everyone else, the Gordian Knot was a knot to be untied; for Sikandar (a.k.a. Alexander the Great), it was a knot to be sliced through with a clean swoop of the blade. When we redefine the problem (or the solution), we unlock our potential by not limiting our outcomes, and most importantly, ourselves; we become free to adopt whatever process or method that presents itself to us. Instead of seeing something as possible, look at what is possible.
Our self-acceptance depends not on how the world sees us, but on how we see the world. When we realise we exist in harmony with it, and not in conflict, we start to flow with life, and the difficult becomes easy. The truth is we really are not limited at all; within us, we have infinite potential.
Jayant Golchha is a barrister-at-law. His present Chakra Focus is the Naadi Sacral Chakra. For him, the journey has been all about “discovering and accepting who I am, where I am, and what I need to do to move forward.” In doing so, he has learned to express himself with greater integrity.